Beyond over it.

Ask Or Tell Me Anything ✌

I often don’t keep secrets but if i exposed you to my demons would my angels still appeal?

The worst thing ever is when you get attached to someone and then suddenly they just lose interest and leave no fucking explanation.

Here’s the story: You meet a guy who seems charming, and you take the time to try to get to know him. You find him absolutely attractive and together, you come to an agreement to take things slow.

There’s no pressure to title what you are and you like where you are with him because how things are going simply feels right.

You’ve been talking to this guy who sparked your interest for months now. But suddenly, things change between the two of you and all of a sudden, you no longer hear from him. It’s over before you can ask why.

Rather than feeling a mutual understanding for why you parted ways, you are stuck feeling like you broke up. Yet, there was never an official title or acknowledgement of your relationship in the first place, so you feel weird about how you feel.

That’s exactly how I felt when I experienced those same emotions a few years back and I will admit that it was devastating. It wasn’t necessarily that the guy I didn’t hear from made me feel awful, but more so that it happened without warning and the painful change became my sudden reality.

Ultimately, I realized that he was never a good guy in the first place and that I was the one who was left feeling emotionally scarred. I couldn’t shake the feeling of going through a breakup with a guy who was never really my guy.

Maybe I felt this way because of the memories I created with him, the conversations we had, how we felt for each other or the promises he made to me. Maybe I was naïve to think that being with an unattached guy would make things less complicated and less stressful for me.

However, that wasn’t the case. I was left feeling angry, confused and hurt all at the same time. For me, the connection I had with my “special guy friend” was real at the time, but agreeing to avoid being officially together was the price I had to pay for the lack of commitment played on both of our parts.

Today’s dating world is absolutely out of whack, as a few of my friends are going through similar situations. Recently, my good friend expressed her pain to me when her special guy completely disappeared with no explanation.

As I sat and listened to her express how hurt and confused she felt about the guy who technically wasn’t her boyfriend, all I could do was think to myself about how that used to be me.

As I watch her go through the same grieving process, as if she was going through a breakup, I ask myself how these glorified friendships end up backfiring. Do we set ourselves up and walk into situations that cause us more emotional harm than good?

Even though a couple may not officially be an item, depending on the circumstances, it doesn’t mean the relationship doesn’t or didn’t exist. Titles are only so important, as whether or not they’re in place won’t have a real influence on how you classify someone to be your ex.

-elite daily

Oh look. I’m getting drunk tonight to avoid the fact that you are in fact avoiding me and pushing me away. I just wanna talk to you about everything. And this time is over this journal entries, and I’m sincerely telling you don’t worry, this will be the last time you ever heard from me plus I know you won’t read my blog so this is the best place to vent it all out. 

Do you know I’m fighting with myself everyday to not contact you? I wish this was hard for you as it is for me. I hate feeling like you don’t want anything to do with me anymore.. It hurts. Sometimes I ask questions that I already have the answer to, Perhaps you could say I’m stubborn and won’t accept the fact, I just want to see if you’re still going to lie to me or not. so awkward that I knew someone is telling lies, yet I still choose to give them chances to tell the truth, and obviously they don’t, you can contact me in Facebook but you don’t, your connection is good, you are active every now and than on Facebook messenger. You’re so cute when you do that, when you lie and what even worse I caught you! I don’t know if it’s me or you are the one who’s falling apart. Because I feel like you’re avoiding me in any way. 

Seriously I just want to hit you with a pillow full of rocks. You can see I’m falling for you. Fuck . Anyway let me help you on this, - if you’re going to lie to someone again and you don’t want them to find out, make sure you are smart enough to do some work on it or just straight up and tell them to fuck off, leave you alone. Isn’t it better for you? If you had lost interest in me, why doesn’t you make it clear? I’m sure you wanted me to find out myself so I can just leave you instead, and if ever I happen to ask you, you would say I’m the one ignoring or pushing you away isn’t it?

Cause you wanna make yourself look good. See you already made your intention clear that you’re no longer interested in me .. Am I right? 

I’m sure you know how I feel towards you. Dont leave me hanging and popping back when you feel like it. You can let me know if you dont wanna anything to do with me anymore now. I’m grown enough to know that feelings change. Don’t just leave me hanging. I don’t wanna sit around & catch feelings for you thats gonna leave me hanging in the long run. 

I know you had someone waiting for you in Thailand. Are you playing games with me?! You know that you had won. Why ask me visit you when you had someone else? I don’t like sharing with you with her. Perhaps you wasn’t mine in the first place. Who am I to even ask or complain so much. 

I’m glad I didn’t told you, I mean what’s the point right ? Instead I rather blame my own self, without telling you thinking if I told you, you would treat me different. But never the less you still treat me differently. I’m glad God didn’t make it happen somehow. But I will never know what I should do. And part of me wants, part of me don’t. And even though I had, I’m pretty sure now I won’t even tell you at all. 

It’s too cruel that I had to bare on my own, and thinking I shouldn’t burden you much. But what I got in the end? You treating me this way? Like I’m just a nobody now. 

I hate i believe whatever you said to me. And seriously thought you wanted to keep me always, keep me forever. I was wrong. Fucking wrong. I got so attached to you right now, you just leaving me here hanging. 

Come on, Don’t blame your work, Doesn’t matter where you are going to work, I’m always understand where you coming from and what’s your job is all about. I never blame your job or what so ever. I just don’t like how you handle stuff. You could treat your friends and family members so well, but me? Like you treat me special for months after which just ditch me aside without any calls/texts or worse ignoring me.

I really wanted to know what am I to you? Just a fucking buddy? Do you plan this all along? 

I don’t want to be that desperate/paranoid woman that keep calling or text you. I always tell myself when you’re free or you had at least a few minutes lunch break you will call me. I love when you call me. You will always make me smile. I finally knew I’m just temporary to you. So you been using me? Why didn’t you tell me straight up? Aren’t you straight forward? 

I had so many questions unanswered . But I guess doesn’t matter now. You still looking for your miss right aren’t you? Congrats to that Phuket lady. 


Remember the day you told me, that you are going to Jordan to work, I immediately cried, when I saw the message. I was about to tell you what’s really going on when I seen the doctor but instead I told you a lie and that’s was my first time lying to you. I admit, I lost, I lost the most precious thing in life which is why I’m suffering, in pain, and I remember you telling me you don’t want this until you are married. Because you are not ready yet to have another one. Everything was so stress going through at that point of time. I always remember what you said, have you ever remember mine? I don’t have the guts to tell you. Because I’m afraid of being a burden to you, I always thought of you first. I shouldn’t. I should love myself and think of myself. Because you are so selfish. Didn’t you realize that I wasn’t myself for that period of time?! I was emotional and all, I guess you didn’t even bother anyway.. And perhaps you reading this now, would be so happy that I help you solve the problem instead crying and look for you.. 

The person you don’t like or even love kept on trying to get your attention. Whereas the one you are so attach with, he is treating you like a piece of shit! Don’t lie to me, if you talk to someone else just tell me, don’t waste my time, there’s others that actually want my attention yet I’m still giving it all to you.

I feel like a desperate and pathetic woman here, and worse I feel like crap and mess up. How foolish to think that someone like you, wouldn’t hurt someone like me, how stupid, cupid is a cunt.

I seriously need to stop letting people come back in my life so easily. I’ma start ignoring y’all now. Don’t use me when you bored ✋✋
I dwell over things that happened months ago, I need to stop being a fucking idiot and move the fuck on already.
Goodbye ! And be safe wherever you are. I wish you all the best. And I hope you will find the right woman you been looking for, hopefully you treat the Thailand woman right. 
Sadness helped me write. I wish it was opposite. I wish I was happy writing. 
Oh well.
Here’s to living my dreams. I did it. Sort of…
I’ve learned, If someone doesn’t care about you anymore, you need to do the same and move the fuck on.

I will always remember you said this “Honesty is something that every person is capable of just that some people do not use it. ” , because clearly you are one of them, and plus you had warn me right from the start . And I’m still so stupid to fall for it. 

Cause I do love you idiot. 

Take care love xxx

Oh look. I’m getting drunk tonight to avoid the fact that you are in fact avoiding me and pushing me away. I just wanna talk to you about everything. And this time is over this journal entries, and I’m sincerely telling you don’t worry, this will be the last time you ever heard from me plus I know you won’t read my blog so this is the best place to vent it all out.

Do you know I’m fighting with myself everyday to not contact you? I wish this was hard for you as it is for me. I hate feeling like you don’t want anything to do with me anymore.. It hurts. Sometimes I ask questions that I already have the answer to, Perhaps you could say I’m stubborn and won’t accept the fact, I just want to see if you’re still going to lie to me or not. so awkward that I knew someone is telling lies, yet I still choose to give them chances to tell the truth, and obviously they don’t, you can contact me in Facebook but you don’t, your connection is good, you are active every now and than on Facebook messenger. You’re so cute when you do that, when you lie and what even worse I caught you! I don’t know if it’s me or you are the one who’s falling apart. Because I feel like you’re avoiding me in any way.

Seriously I just want to hit you with a pillow full of rocks. You can see I’m falling for you. Fuck . Anyway let me help you on this, - if you’re going to lie to someone again and you don’t want them to find out, make sure you are smart enough to do some work on it or just straight up and tell them to fuck off, leave you alone. Isn’t it better for you? If you had lost interest in me, why doesn’t you make it clear? I’m sure you wanted me to find out myself so I can just leave you instead, and if ever I happen to ask you, you would say I’m the one ignoring or pushing you away isn’t it?

Cause you wanna make yourself look good. See you already made your intention clear that you’re no longer interested in me .. Am I right?

I’m sure you know how I feel towards you. Dont leave me hanging and popping back when you feel like it. You can let me know if you dont wanna anything to do with me anymore now. I’m grown enough to know that feelings change. Don’t just leave me hanging. I don’t wanna sit around & catch feelings for you thats gonna leave me hanging in the long run.

I know you had someone waiting for you in Thailand. Are you playing games with me?! You know that you had won. Why ask me visit you when you had someone else? I don’t like sharing with you with her. Perhaps you wasn’t mine in the first place. Who am I to even ask or complain so much.

I’m glad I didn’t told you, I mean what’s the point right ? Instead I rather blame my own self, without telling you thinking if I told you, you would treat me different. But never the less you still treat me differently. I’m glad God didn’t make it happen somehow. But I will never know what I should do. And part of me wants, part of me don’t. And even though I had, I’m pretty sure now I won’t even tell you at all.

It’s too cruel that I had to bare on my own, and thinking I shouldn’t burden you much. But what I got in the end? You treating me this way? Like I’m just a nobody now.

I hate i believe whatever you said to me. And seriously thought you wanted to keep me always, keep me forever. I was wrong. Fucking wrong. I got so attached to you right now, you just leaving me here hanging.

Come on, Don’t blame your work, Doesn’t matter where you are going to work, I’m always understand where you coming from and what’s your job is all about. I never blame your job or what so ever. I just don’t like how you handle stuff. You could treat your friends and family members so well, but me? Like you treat me special for months after which just ditch me aside without any calls/texts or worse ignoring me.

I really wanted to know what am I to you? Just a fucking buddy? Do you plan this all along?

I don’t want to be that desperate/paranoid woman that keep calling or text you. I always tell myself when you’re free or you had at least a few minutes lunch break you will call me. I love when you call me. You will always make me smile. I finally knew I’m just temporary to you. So you been using me? Why didn’t you tell me straight up? Aren’t you straight forward?

I had so many questions unanswered . But I guess doesn’t matter now. You still looking for your miss right aren’t you? Congrats to that Phuket lady.


Remember the day you told me, that you are going to Jordan to work, I immediately cried, when I saw the message. I was about to tell you what’s really going on when I seen the doctor but instead I told you a lie and that’s was my first time lying to you. I admit, I lost, I lost the most precious thing in life which is why I’m suffering, in pain, and I remember you telling me you don’t want this until you are married. Because you are not ready yet to have another one. Everything was so stress going through at that point of time. I always remember what you said, have you ever remember mine? I don’t have the guts to tell you. Because I’m afraid of being a burden to you, I always thought of you first. I shouldn’t. I should love myself and think of myself. Because you are so selfish. Didn’t you realize that I wasn’t myself for that period of time?! I was emotional and all, I guess you didn’t even bother anyway.. And perhaps you reading this now, would be so happy that I help you solve the problem instead crying and look for you..

The person you don’t like or even love kept on trying to get your attention. Whereas the one you are so attach with, he is treating you like a piece of shit! Don’t lie to me, if you talk to someone else just tell me, don’t waste my time, there’s others that actually want my attention yet I’m still giving it all to you.

I feel like a desperate and pathetic woman here, and worse I feel like crap and mess up. How foolish to think that someone like you, wouldn’t hurt someone like me, how stupid, cupid is a cunt.

I seriously need to stop letting people come back in my life so easily. I’ma start ignoring y’all now. Don’t use me when you bored ✋✋
I dwell over things that happened months ago, I need to stop being a fucking idiot and move the fuck on already.
Goodbye ! And be safe wherever you are. I wish you all the best. And I hope you will find the right woman you been looking for, hopefully you treat the Thailand woman right.
Sadness helped me write. I wish it was opposite. I wish I was happy writing.
Oh well.
Here’s to living my dreams. I did it. Sort of…
I’ve learned, If someone doesn’t care about you anymore, you need to do the same and move the fuck on.

I will always remember you said this “Honesty is something that every person is capable of just that some people do not use it. ” , because clearly you are one of them, and plus you had warn me right from the start . And I’m still so stupid to fall for it.

Cause I do love you idiot.

Take care love xxx

Thankful to have met someone like you Ryan! Wish you were still here. Hard to believe it’s been a year since you’ve been gone. That year went by fast, haven’t stopped thinking about you Ryan. I know you’re living it up up there big guy. Happy Birthday! We all miss you and know you are celebrating up in heaven now, you’re having a blast up there? I’ll have a few pints on your behalf here. Love you and miss you so much. Keep watching over us all while you’re in paradise! Until we meet again..💜👼💜 #patron #guardianangel @cioffari

Thankful to have met someone like you Ryan! Wish you were still here. Hard to believe it’s been a year since you’ve been gone. That year went by fast, haven’t stopped thinking about you Ryan. I know you’re living it up up there big guy. Happy Birthday! We all miss you and know you are celebrating up in heaven now, you’re having a blast up there? I’ll have a few pints on your behalf here. Love you and miss you so much. Keep watching over us all while you’re in paradise! Until we meet again..💜👼💜 #patron #guardianangel @cioffari

I missed pillow talk. 

Then you reminded me what it was like.
Now, I’m honestly too happy to put into words. 

But I don’t have to say a thing. 
You can already see it in my smile that hasn’t felt so real in a while.

Xx

I missed pillow talk.

Then you reminded me what it was like.
Now, I’m honestly too happy to put into words.

But I don’t have to say a thing.
You can already see it in my smile that hasn’t felt so real in a while.

Xx

I know you’re watching. I love you. #我想你 #我好想念你 @cioffari

I know you’re watching. I love you. #我想你 #我好想念你 @cioffari

😏☝️

😏☝️

Hell yeah! Anyone?! 😘👊

Hell yeah! Anyone?! 😘👊

“Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority,” and see how that feels. Often, that’s a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don’t want to. But other things are harder. Try it: “I’m not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it’s not a priority.” “I don’t go to the doctor because my health is not a priority.” If these phrases don’t sit well, that’s the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don’t like how we’re spending an hour, we can choose differently.”

“Instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “it’s not a priority,” and see how that feels. Often, that’s a perfectly adequate explanation. I have time to iron my sheets, I just don’t want to. But other things are harder. Try it: “I’m not going to edit your résumé, sweetie, because it’s not a priority.” “I don’t go to the doctor because my health is not a priority.” If these phrases don’t sit well, that’s the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. If we don’t like how we’re spending an hour, we can choose differently.”

Friends.
A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.

A friend is someone who is happy to spend time with you doing absolutely nothing at all; someone who doesn’t mind driving you on stupid errands, who will get up at midnight just because you want to go on an adventure, and who doesn’t have to talk to communicate with you.

A friend is someone who not only doesn’t care if you’re ugly or boring, but doesn’t even think about it; someone who forgives you no matter what you do, and someone who tries to help you even when they don’t know how. A friend is someone who tells you if you’re being stupid, but who doesn’t make you feel stupid.

A friend is someone who would sacrifice their life and happiness for you. A friend is someone who will come with you when you have to do boring things like watch bad recitals, go to stuffy parties, or wait in boring lobbies. You don’t even think about who’s talking or who’s listening in a conversation with a friend.

A friend is someone for whom you’re willing to change your opinions. A friend is someone you look forward to seeing and who looks forward to seeing you: someone you like so much, it doesn’t matter if you share interests or traits. A friend is someone you like so much, you start to like the things they like.

A friend is also a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts yet it’s also a person whom one knows; an acquaintance. A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. A friend is someone whom you’ll share your secrets with, the first person you thought of to share something with.   Basically someone special that understand and don’t want to hurt you. 

Now, i wanna thank all my friends who has been there for me through thick and thin of my life.
Without you guys, i wouldn’t be who i am today. Thank you guys. 💋👏
You know who you are xoxo 😘✌

Friends.
A friend is someone you love and who loves you, someone you respect and who respects you, someone whom you trust and who trusts you. A friend is honest and makes you want to be honest, too. A friend is loyal.

A friend is someone who is happy to spend time with you doing absolutely nothing at all; someone who doesn’t mind driving you on stupid errands, who will get up at midnight just because you want to go on an adventure, and who doesn’t have to talk to communicate with you.

A friend is someone who not only doesn’t care if you’re ugly or boring, but doesn’t even think about it; someone who forgives you no matter what you do, and someone who tries to help you even when they don’t know how. A friend is someone who tells you if you’re being stupid, but who doesn’t make you feel stupid.

A friend is someone who would sacrifice their life and happiness for you. A friend is someone who will come with you when you have to do boring things like watch bad recitals, go to stuffy parties, or wait in boring lobbies. You don’t even think about who’s talking or who’s listening in a conversation with a friend.

A friend is someone for whom you’re willing to change your opinions. A friend is someone you look forward to seeing and who looks forward to seeing you: someone you like so much, it doesn’t matter if you share interests or traits. A friend is someone you like so much, you start to like the things they like.

A friend is also a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts yet it’s also a person whom one knows; an acquaintance. A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. A friend is someone whom you’ll share your secrets with, the first person you thought of to share something with. Basically someone special that understand and don’t want to hurt you.

Now, i wanna thank all my friends who has been there for me through thick and thin of my life.
Without you guys, i wouldn’t be who i am today. Thank you guys. 💋👏
You know who you are xoxo 😘✌